Regardless of our struggle (and we all struggle with something to some degree, in my opinion), admitting we need help is hard to do! In our minds, we justify the actions or attitudes that may be questionable. We often think we can make the changes and “fix” things ourselves. I know this is true for individuals with an eating disorder. For years, I rationalized that I was okay, that I would do better next week. I was certain I could “fix” this before it became a “problem.” All the while, the voice of the eating disorder screamed, “You’re a failure!” in those brief moments in which I considered asking for help with my relationship with my body and food. I was convinced that everyone who knew me would also label me a failure if I dared to ask for help. I mean, truly, I was a mother of two children – no one at my age has an eating disorder! People would think I was crazy even to have these thoughts. So, I shoved the thoughts and emotions down deeper and deeper. And all the while, the problem persisted and grew.
My experience taught me that eating disorders thrive on lies. And a life grounded in lies is extremely difficult! I was not free to be my authentic self for fear that others would make fun of me or wouldn’t accept me. The fears of what others thought of me, or what I assumed others would think or say about me, controlled nearly everything I did or said. That is not freedom, friends! The original goal–to be accepted and admired by everyone–had become so extreme that I could hardly bear to be around anyone. My social anxiety was growing larger, and my social circle was growing smaller. I was growing smaller in every way. My cognitive abilities were waning; I was always tired and frustrated. The life I wanted and the life which the eating disorder promised me (all lies) was always outside of my grasp.
It took an all-time low – physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually before I dared to speak and believe those words: “I NEED HELP!”
Earlier this week, I met with others online from around the world to join our hearts in prayer for those who have eating disorders or who struggle with food and body image issues. This group consisted of eating disorder professionals, loved ones of those who struggle and some individuals who are longing to overcome their battle with an eating disorder or disordered eating. In my opinion, the most courageous of the bunch were those who stated their name and shared their struggle, some admitting this was something they were just coming to terms with after decades of eating disorder behaviours. My heart ached for them as I remembered how hopeless that felt. At the same time, I inwardly cheered for them as I realized what a huge step forward they had made in simply admitting their need for help. I recognize how courageous it is to share a story that is not what you hoped or envisioned.
Regardless of your struggle, I pray this will encourage you to share it with a trusted friend, counselor, mentor, etc. The power of the shame surrounding your struggle begins to fade when you can share it with someone. I repeatedly ask those I work with, “What do you need to get out of your head? What is on your heart?” The longer we think about something that weighs heavy on our mind, the tighter the spiral of anxiety becomes, and the more our fears (real or imagined) grow.
Admitting our need for help is not a sign of weakness but of genuine strength and courage. It is the first step toward freedom from the rigid rules of the eating disorder (or any mental health disorder) and to the life God planned for us—a life marked by abundant peace and joy (Jn 10:10). This doesn’t mean a life free of hardship or suffering but a life anchored in the truth of our original purpose and identity. We are made in God’s image (Gen 1:26-27)—to be a reflection to others of our kind and gracious King.
Jesus gently invites us to come to Him with our burdens (Matt 11:28). No burden is too big or small. Jesus promises true rest—rest for our souls, minds, and bodies. Whatever your burden is, He is strong enough to carry it.
It is my privilege to walk with others who struggle with food and body image concerns and those who are pursuing recovery from an eating disorder. If this post resonated with you and you are unsure where to start your recovery journey, please reach out. As a Christian life coach and mental health coach, I help women discover the roots of their struggles, set realistic goals and pursue attainable action steps toward a life marked by joy and authenticity. I offer tailored coaching sessions to help my clients overcome their struggles and live lives free of fear, anxiety, and shame. Contact me today to book a free consultation. To learn more about my services, visit my website, https://www.space4grace.ca/ or email info@space4grace.ca