I remember learning to be curious again during my eating disorder recovery.
Think about it: toddlers learn through curiosity. We introduce children to different sights, sounds, textures, relationships, and challenges. They begin to understand what they like and don’t like, what’s soft or prickly, sweet or sour. A soft blanket feels better than prickly grass. Cookies baking smell better than burnt toast. But either way, they’re learning about themselves and the world.
As adults, curiosity still plays a vital role. It encourages us to try new things and set out on new paths. But if you’ve struggled with food, body image, or trusting your body, curiosity can feel terrifying.
I learned this firsthand. As long as I stayed closed-minded, I remained stuck in harmful, negative thought patterns. These patterns promised happiness and success but never delivered.
Many people—especially those in eating disorder recovery—get stuck in the safety of the familiar. Even when they know their routines aren’t helping them heal, those routines feel safe. Eating the same foods, avoiding new experiences, staying in control—these behaviors feel predictable. I remember feeling trapped in that rut. I was tired of it. I knew I wasn’t well. But I was terrified of the “what ifs.”
What if I tried something new and had a negative reaction or setback?
What if I broke the eating disorder’s rules and someone commented on my body?
This kind of “what if” thinking keeps us running in circles—like a hamster on a wheel. It’s also a perfect metaphor for diet culture: always chasing, never arriving. “What ifs” are rooted in fear and often fed by lies from eating disorders or cultural messages about food and appearance.
So how do we break free?
One powerful way is by shifting from “what if” to “what is.”
Recently, I’ve been working with women I coach on this exact mindset shift. (And yes, I still practice it myself!) Instead of spiraling into fear-based hypotheticals, we can ground ourselves in what’s true right now.
“What is” thinking brings us back to reality. It helps us see the good. It turns our eyes from fear to truth.
For women of faith, the ultimate source of truth is God. While everyone’s situation is unique, God’s character never changes. And when we anchor ourselves in who He is, we find peace and stability—even when life feels chaotic.
My go-to passage for this shift is Lamentations 3:21–24. The prophet Jeremiah had been through it all—affliction, bitterness, tribulation, desolation. He wrote, “My soul is bereft of peace; I have forgotten what happiness is” (v. 17). That’s raw honesty. He was drowning in “what ifs.”
But then something shifts:
“But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope:
The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases;
His mercies never come to an end;
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.”
— Lamentations 3:21–23
That “but” changes everything.
Jeremiah chooses to focus on what is true about God—not his feelings, not his fears. He reminds himself:
- God’s love never ends. He doesn’t love us because of what we do. He loves us because He is love.
- His mercies are new every morning. His grace is abundant. There’s always another chance.
- God is faithful—always. Even when we don’t understand His plans, He is working. Every sunrise is a reminder of His faithful care and provision.
Verse 24 has become one of my favourites:
“The LORD is my portion, says my soul; therefore I will hope in Him.”
God is always enough. He knows exactly what we need and when we need it. He gives us what we need at the appropriate and perfect time.
This is the same truth John Newton expressed in the fourth verse of Amazing Grace:
The Lord has promised good to me,
His Word my hope secures;
He will my Shield and Portion be,
As long as life endures.
Just like the prophet Jeremiah, Newton found hope by anchoring himself in God’s promises. And we can do the same.
We have a choice: to place our hope in God or in something else—like diet culture, control, or our own strength. We all place our faith in someone or something. Why not choose the One who never changes?
If you’re feeling stuck in “what if” thinking and are curious about exploring the freedom found in “what is,” I’d love to talk with you.
Let’s chat. Whether you’re struggling with body image, disordered eating, or spiritual uncertainty, I would be honoured to talk with you because I believe real hope and freedom are possible—and they are found in God. Complete my Contact Form or email me at info@space4grace.ca to book your first complimentary session today.